I am Barbara, the competition weasel, master of competitions and I bring you a competition that may, nay, even will, CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER.
See here, Human, a copy of the book, AGE OF ASSASSINS by RJ Barker, author of such books as Age of Assassins and the forthcoming Blood of Assassins( February, Orbit Books) and then King of Assassins (August 2018 Orbit Books) for he surely doth loveth assassins and is in no way given to self publicising himself through the medium of a weasel talking in a cod and rather unconvincing ‘ye olde’ style way.
See how this book is in the wild, for it is ready, at any one moment, to jump out and scrag any unsuspecting noble that may pass by. See how well it blends into the forest, imagine the terror of those it may harm! But, you, human, may save those of your strange species by entering the competition and imprisoning the book on a “shelf”. IF THOUEST DARE
But, wait and hark, my sensitive nose senses something foul is afoot, this book appears to be wounded, NAY! WHAT HORROR! This book has come into contact with its natural enemy, moisture! Oh, I can barely stand to look at the poor thing, it is in such pain! If only someone would love it maybe it would stop its ruinous thieving from passers by.
I SENSE A COMPETITION IN THE OFFING!
To win this glorious book simply answer this question in which there are multiple choices. And then tweet your answer to RJ (@dedbutdrmng) with the hashtag #winRJsbook #ageofassassins
Q. What is the strange moisture that doth hath ruined this book?
C) Cat Urine.
There, human friends, the competition is in full swing and a winner will be chosen via the medium of the author’s son (muppets and animals go down well but he is a child and thus FICKLE.) If, for some unknowable and STRANGE, reason you should not want this book then a code for an AUDIOBOOK will be offered as an alternative prize! Though I cannot see any reason why one would not want this glorious if rather stained and fragrant, copy.
Competition endeth Monday the 16th October
Barbara Ye Competion Weasel
YE OLDE FOOTNOTES.
1 Actually a stoat.
2 Yes, Barbara can be a boy’s name. This is the 21st century people.
3 Pretty sure this is how people used to speak. It is definitely how weasels (stoats) speak. now.
4 I have no idea why I added a fourth footnote.